A movement afoot in Nebraska hasn’t received much attention, but it seems the leader of the movement has a real hunger for change.
Ander Christensen attended a Lincoln City Council meeting to ask the council to support changing the name of boneless chicken wings, saying it was confusing to children.
“Lincoln has the opportunity to be a social leader in this country,” Christensen said. “We have been casually ignoring a problem that has gotten so out of control, that our children are throwing around names and words, without even understanding their true meaning. Treating things as though they’re normal.”
According to Christensen, “Nothing about boneless chicken wings actually come from the wing of a chicken.” Boneless chicken wings are just chicken tenders, Christensen said. “We need to raise our children better.”
Previously, the issue of boneless chicken wings didn’t bother me. In fact, I guess I hadn’t taken the time to stop and think about the ramifications of calling pieces of chicken "boneless wings." But he does have a point.
Isn’t this confusing to children? Do parents take the time to explain the facts of chicken to their children? Probably not. Yet today, children eat chicken with no bones at higher rates than any children in the history of our country. Shouldn’t they know the truth about their chicken? Shouldn’t they grow up to be adults who are capable of distinguishing between bone-in and boneless chicken?
Perhaps more importantly, Christensen notes our children are "being raised, being afraid of having bones attached to their meat," even though "that’s where meat comes from, it grows on bones."
As usual, civility was lost in politics. Christensen met with riducule at the council meeting he attended. Here’s part of the transcript:
“I propose, that we as a city remove the... Excuse me, I’m trying, excuse me, yeah come on.”
(laughter in the background)
“I propose that, we as a city, remove the name ‘boneless wings’ from our menus and from our hearts.”
Christensen suggests calling them buffalo-style chicken tenders, or wet tenders, or saucy nugs.
“We can take these steps and show the country where we stand, and that we understand that we’ve been living a lie for far too long, and we know it, because we feel it in our bones,” he said.
You know he’s on the right track because his father, a council member, was at the meeting and didn’t deny knowing him.
“I would like to just comment here,” the council member said, “For the record, that’s my son.”
So let’s be clear: boneless chicken wings, no matter how tasty, need a new name. Let’s not leave it to politicians to decide what that name is because it will never happen. Fly, wing, lovers! Be free and call them what you will.
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