Geez, Louise, can’t this election hurry up and get here already?

Would if possible, if everyone agreed, to hold it tomorrow?

I really don’t know whether I can handle two more months of this.

Two more months of spin, distortion and outright lies.

Two more months of the TV talking heads pontificating themselves into a frenzy.

Two more months of sheer nonsense, such as the John McCain camp last week working itself into the most manufactured state of high dudgeon I have ever personally witnessed over, of all things, lipstick and a folksy phrase regarding its application to a certain porcine mammal.

Yes, friends, I’d like to believe that with McCain’s ridiculous claim that Democratic candidate Barack Obama’s use of the phrase “lipstick on a pig” — one that Sen. McCain has been known to use frequently himself, it should be noted — was a sexist barb directed at Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, McCain’s running mate, the presidential campaign reached a new low in terms of sheer, abject absurdity.

Unfortunately, with those two long months still looming before us, I have a feeling that we’ve yet to catch even a glimpse of the bottom of the barrel.

We’ve got two wars going on simultaneously. Our economy is in shambles. Millions of Americans go to bed every night terrified to get sick because they have no health insurance. People are losing their homes in record numbers. And, as I write this, on the seventh anniversary of the deadliest attacks on our nation in its history, the individual who masterminded said attacks still walks the earth a free man.

Yet this is what Sen. McCain wants to talk about?

It would be laughable, really, if is wasn’t so sad.

And, if it wasn’t yet another example of, as Obama correctly pointed out, “swift boat politics” and trying to make an important election about very, very small things.

The really sad thing is that worked.

It generated tons of media attention for the McCain/Palin ticket. (I even feel a little guilty writing about it, actually.)

It put Obama on the defensive and in the impossible position of having to prove a negative.

And, for at least one media cycle, it kept McCain from having to talk about matters of actual importance — such as the ones I mentioned above — and from having to explain why he continues to support the Bush Administration policies that have failed the country for the past eight years.

At what point did politics sink to this level, anyway? And why did we, as a people, allow it to happen?

Somehow, I can’t imagine our nation’s past leaders, men such as Teddy Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Truman or FDR involving themselves in such trifle.

And, I shudder to think where our country might be today had they done so.

KENNETH HART can be reached at or (606) 326-2654.

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