Published: May 22, 2009 04:41 pm      

Memorial Day — 05/25/09

The return of fallen soldier is done with respect and dignity

Last month’s respectful 17-minute ceremony honoring a fallen 30-year-old Air Force sergeant’s final return to his native land took on added significance because it marked the first time in 18 years that the press was allowed to be present — and to photograph — the arrival of a flag-draped military coffin at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware.

No anti-war protesters were present. Even picketers from that tiny Baptist church in Topeka, Kan., who during the early months of the war offended decent folks everywhere by showing up at the funerals of fallen soldiers to shout insults and spread their particular brand of hate, missed this event. And those few members of the press who were present did not invade the private lives of grieving family members or ask inappropriate questions.

In fact, the media was there only because the soldier’s family said they could be. In deciding to lift the ban on photographs of flag-draped coffins arriving on American soil, President Obama and Defense Secretary Robert Gates avoided further controversy by requiring the family’s permission for the press to photograph the return of a loved one. Some families say no, preferring to grieve in private; others say yes, wanting the soldier who made the ultimate sacrifice for his or her country to be publicly recognized. How the return home of a fallen soldier is recognized should have always been a matter for the family — not the government — to decide.

The ceremony marking the return home of the staff sergeant killed in Afghanistan was done with military precision. Except to the command “Present arms!” it was conducted in complete silence.

The controversial ban on taking or distributing photos of the coffins was imposed by President George H.W. Bush in 1991 at the outset of the first Gulf War. A decade later, President George W. Bush reinforced the prohibition as he launched the invasion of Iraq. The lifting of the ban adds significance to this 141st Memorial Day.

Thousands upon thousands of Americans will pause today to honor the soldiers who have died not only in Afghanistan and Iraq but in Vietnam, in Korea, in Europe, Africa, Asia and the Pacific during World War II and in all other wars in our nation’s history. We remain free today because of their sacrifice.

But Memorial Day has become more than just a day to remember fallen soldiers. It is a time to remember all of our loved ones who are no longer with us. More Americans will visit cemeteries this weekend than at any other time of the year.

Some will take in the parade in Ironton, and some will go to the pool or lake on what is the unofficial start of the summer vacation season. Many will enjoy picnics with their families and friends.

However we choose to observe this holiday we should take time to remember with fondness those who are no longer with us. They helped us become what we are and a part of them still lives thorough our lives.