A website’s recent story beckoned readers to learn the secret behind the Kardashians’ Christmas card photo.
I am ashamed to admit I have watched the E! network program “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” a reality show about the blended familly that was formed when former Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner married Kris Kardashian, the ex-wife of the late Robert Kardashian, best known as a member of O.J. Simpson’s murder trial defense team.
The reason I’m ashamed to admit to watching is because there is absolutely no redeeming social value to the program. In no way is it educational or uplifting. It’s not even entertaining. Whoever watches it is getting only one thing out of it: You feel morally and intellectually superior to the stars of the show.
I watched, waiting for something interesting or important to happen, but it never did.
When the program was new and I stumbled across it on a laid-back Sunday afternoon, I didn’t know anything about it except I remembered Robert Kardashian from the televised murder trial of Simpson. You couldn’t forget Kardashian’s poofy hair with a white streak. It looked like he had a skunk on his head.
However, I had no idea who his family was or anything about him. With a distinctive Armenian name like his, I knew these people must be his kin. So I watched.
In fact, I tuned in every Sunday for about a month until I found myself disgusted by my habit. Plus, it was boring and I found better things to do.
So when I noticed there was an uproar about the family Christmas picture, I had to check it out.
But before I learned what the big deal was, I was struck by the photo itself. Not at all a typical, loving, family photo. No ugly Christmas sweaters. Nobody was having a bad hair day. Nobody had his or her eyes closed or an unflattering expression on his or her face.
No, it was a perfect picture. So perfect, in fact, it looked like a Calvin Klein fragrance shoot.
Everybody had on a sexy outfit.
The women’s makeup was severe and their hair-dos outrageous, which are supposed to be sexy.
No one was smiling because, of course, that wouldn’t be sexy.
Everybody was posed just so to accentuate the positive and camouflage the negative.
The background, which likely was their living room, looked like a formal hotel lobby.
The photo looked more like the front of a Halloween card than a Christmas card.
The uproar was this: Khloe Kardashian publicly admitted the family is rarely together and some members of her family, including her and her husband, were cobbled into the original picture using PhotoShop.
PhotoShopping people into the portrait isn’t so much offensive as it is expected when it comes to celebrities. A family that can’t smile or wear tacky, matching sweaters in a holiday picture can’t be trusted.
LEE WARD can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or (606) 326-2661.