While talking about my cousin Bob, I mentioned he had retired to Detroit.
“Detroit!” my conversation partner exclaimed. “Who retires to Detroit?”
That was the first such response but not the last I received when I said my cousin retired to Detroit.
I also heard “Why the ‘H’ ‘E’ double toothpicks would somebody retire to Detroit?” and “Who the ‘H’ ‘E’ double toothpicks would retire to Detroit?”
And there were jokes. Jokes about snow and jokes about drug trafficking.
Not that I’m going to defend Detroit, but it is the home of Motown music, which is second only to British rock and roll from the 1970s.
I’m also aware that in Holland, Mich., there is a tulip festival in spring. I don’t know how far Holland is from Detroit, but I’m itching to go.
I don’t know much else about the town, other than many people who are arrested in Huntington are from Detroit, so I looked up the website and learned the city has a symphony orchestra, an opera house, an arts institute, several museums and theaters, festivals and professional baseball, football, basketball and hockey teams.
I also learned Holland is on the opposite side of the state from Detroit, so when I visit cousin Bob, we can make a day of it and drive through Ann Arbor, Battle Creek and Ypsilanti to get there and come back via Lansing, just to do some sightseeing.
Not only is Detroit home to my cousin, it’s the hometown of Aretha Franklin, Diana Ross, Bob Seger, Eminem, the Winans and Kid Rock.
No, cousin Bob didn’t choose Detroit because of the plentiful drugs or the frigid weather. Most of his branch of the family lives in the area and he wants to make up for lost time with them.
You can always pick on another state, but that doesn’t mean it’s a terrible place with no redeeming qualities. Sometimes you just have to educate yourself.
However, just to save time and energy, from now on, I’m just going to say my cousin is from Michigan.
LEE WARD can be reached at email@example.com or (606) 326-2661.