Daily Independent (Ashland, KY)

Columns

April 2, 2014

MARK MAYNARD: A morning in my own ‘Lock Box’

ASHLAND — There are those days when it would be better to go back into the house, climb into bed and pull the covers over your head.

We’ve all had them.

Last week, during one of our cold spring mornings, I used my automatic remote to start my car and warm it up before heading to the gym about 5:45 a.m. It wasn’t unlike most of these cold mornings for me. I let the car run for about 5 to 10 minutes and then off I go.

Except this time, my door wouldn’t unlock. It wasn’t frozen — it really wasn’t that cold — but it was locked tight. I drive a 2005 Honda Accord and recently had replaced the actuator for this very problem. My thinking was that it had gone out again. (Note that in Hondas, there is only one door with a key entry — the driver’s side door — for those who may have been wondering why didn’t you go to the other door?).

Not being exactly quick on my feet when it comes to fixing anything mechanical (boy, what an understatement), I manually jiggled and jiggled and jiggled with the lock until finally — Viola! — I unlocked the door.

Pleased with myself, I arrived at the gym and pushed on the driver’s seat door to open it. But it wouldn’t budge. Locked tight again. I was beginning to get a little bit panicky being locked in the car but finally came to some logical thinking.

I reached across to the passenger side door and unlocked that door manually. Of course, now I was going to have to crawl over the console and gear shift. Along with being terribly unmechanical, I’m also terribly unflexible. So this would be no easy feat. It wasn’t. I straddled the console with my short legs — short legs that were also in a bind because of a lack of flexibility — and managed to get into the passenger seat and out the door.

Ah, fresh air, I thought.

I didn’t lock the car, figuring I may have to crawl into the driver’s seat from the passenger side although they thought of it bothered me after the aforementioned experience of crawling across the console.

So I went around to the driver’s side to fiddle around with the lock again. While fiddling, my fat fingers hit the lock button and we were locked tight as a drum again. Perfect, I thought.

Instead of worrying about it, I went into the gym where a friend and I have been going since November. I knew he could give me a ride if I couldn’t get back in the car.

I told him about it, had a few laughs and we began the workout.

I came out to drive home and almost through a minor miracle I was able to jiggle the lock open again. This door wasn’t going to beat me!

Upon arrival at home, though, I again had to climb out the passenger side. It was easier this time but still something that would have gone viral had anybody videotaped it. I had to arch my back to get over the console, nearly putting my nose and stomach against the ceiling. I’m sure it was a sight to behold.

So out the passenger side I went and into the house. After escaping the Lock Box again, I made sure I didn’t lock the door, figuring I was going to have to go through the passenger side to the driver’s side. I knew my next stop was going to be to the repair shop that replaced the actuator about a month ago.

I came back out to the car and decided to test my luck again on the jiggling of the lock. I hadn’t locked the door but once again my fat fingers did it for me. What an idiot! Are you kidding me? It was locked tight again.

This time, though, the jiggling wasn’t working. I tried and tried and tried. I even whispered (screamed?) a prayer, “Lord, you have to help me unlock this door!” I tried some more but to no avail. And then something, uh, miraculous happened.

As I was frustratingly jiggling away, the back windows rolled down.

I am not kidding.

I practically jumped for joy, ran to the other side of the car and unlocked the passenger door.

Then I was thinking: “When the Lord closes (locks?) a door, He opens a window!”

Perfect!

Come to find out, it wasn’t Divine Intervention but Honda Invervention but it still doesn’t take away from my God Moment. If you push the unlock button twice and then hold it down again the windows roll down. Somehow I did that through my jiggling.

But I didn’t know that was a Honda feature until much later. By the way, it supposedly works on any Honda.

I jumped into the passenger seat, over the console and into the driver’s seat — a little more smoothly this time, I might add — and headed to the repair shop. I say jumped in. It wasn’t exactly “Dukes of Hazzard” style (now that would be a viral video for sure).

I told them at the repair shop what had happened, they graciously took the car in and, of course, found nothing wrong with the actuator.

Everything worked fine for them all afternoon.

Can I have a show of hands on who else has experienced that with a car repair?

The mystery of what happened remains but my best guess is it had something to do with the automatic start remote that locks the door automatically, too.

Hopefully, we won’t have too many more cold mornings because it’s the remote that’s going in cold storage.

MARK MAYNARD can be reached at mmaynard@dailyindependent.com or (606) 326-2648.

1
Text Only
Columns
Featured Ads
Seasonal Content
AP Video
Crashed Air Algerie Plane Found in Mali Israel Mulls Ceasefire Amid Gaza Offensive In Case of Fire, Oxygen Masks for Pets Mobile App Gives Tour of Battle of Atlanta Sites Anti-violence Advocate Killed, but Not Silenced. Dempsey: Putin May Light Fire and Lose Control Arizona Prison Chief: Execution Wasn't Botched Calif. Police Investigate Peacock Shooting Death Raw: Protesters, Soldiers Clash in West Bank Police: Doctor Who Shot Gunman 'Saved Lives' 'Modern Family' Star on Gay Athletes Coming Out MN Twins Debut Beer Vending Machine DA: Pa. Doctor Fired Back at Hospital Gunman Raw: Iowa Police Dash Cam Shows Wild Chase Obama Seeks Limits on US Company Mergers Abroad Large Family to Share NJ Lottery Winnings U.S. Flights to Israel Resume After Ban Lifted Official: Air Algerie Flight 'probably Crashed' TSA Administrator on Politics and Flight Bans Raw: National Guard Helps Battle WA Wildfires
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
SEC Zone