Published: June 23, 2009 11:16 pm      

John Cannon: Chatting with an ‘insider’

Like most sports fans, I love the smashing of records, be it Roger Bannister running the first four-minute mile back when I was in grade school, Cal Ripken Jr. surpassing Lou Gehrig’s “unbreakable” record for most consecutive games played or Secretariat breaking track records on his way to winning racing’s Triple Crown.

But the record that is now being shattered is one that I thought — or hoped — would stand for decades. And it is not even one from the world of sports. Instead, it comes out of our nation’s capital.

To get a closer look at how this record was broken, I talked to a political insider as we secretively met deep inside my imagination.

“Wow, I didn’t think it was possible, but in less than six months, President Barack Obama has managed to leave the old record for largest budget deficit in the dust,” I said. “How did you ever do it?”

“Well, it wasn’t easy, John,” said my source, who I will call Shallow Throat out of lack of originality. “I must admit that for all his other faults, President George W. Bush set the bar high for reckless spending. I mean he set the record for the biggest deficit in U.S. history seven times in only eight years. And that reckless spending spree to bail out the home mortgage companies just before he left office set the bar even higher. Let me tell you, when it comes to irresponsible federal spending, W. was a tough act to follow.”

“I can see where he was,” I agreed.

“And remember — and this is quite embarrassing for we tax-and-spend Democrats to admit — the previous record for deficit spending that W. broke was set by his father, President Bush the First.”

“Ahh yes, I remember it well. That President Bush also knew how to spend and spend and spend,” I agreed.

“And then came the Clinton years. Do you realize how embarrassing that was for the Democratic Party?” Shallow Throat asked.

“Oh, you mean the Monica Lewinsky thing, right?” I replied. “Well, President Clinton is not the first president to be unfaithful to his wife.”

“I’m not talking about Monica Lewinsky!” Shallow Throat interrupted. “That’s not what was embarrassing for the Democrats, who have always been liberal on morality issues. I’m talking about all those surpluses during the Clinton years.

“Before Bill Clinton was known as the party of irresponsible spending and we were proud of it. But here we had a president who betrayed us by ringing up several years of surpluses and actually paying down on the national debt. Let me tell you it almost ruined our reputation and the Republicans took advantage of it.”

“They did?” I asked, a bit puzzled.

“Sure, they did,” Shallow Throat said. “As soon as W. took office, he went on one of the biggest spending sprees in the history of this nation, and to make matter worse, he cut taxes to assure that the deficit would be even bigger. It wasn’t fair. The tax-and-spend Democrats were upstaged by the untax-and-spend Republicans.”

“So all of a sudden the American people were getting more while paying less taxes,” I said. “I can see where that would be a problem.”

“You bet it was,” Shallow Throat continued. “And as soon as Barack Obama became president, we knew we had to do something drastic to restore our reputation as the party of irresponsible spending. Fortunately with President Obama in the White House and Democrats in control of Congress, that was fairly easy to do. All we had to do is bail out the auto companies, enact a huge stimulus package and spend, spend, spend. It’s been fun, and I can assure you that this year’s deficit will put George W. Bush’s deficits to shame.”

“I know you are proud of your accomplishments, but what about our grandchildren?” I asked.

“What about them?” Shallow Throat asked.

“Well, don’t you feel a little guilty spending their money to pay for today’s programs?” I asked.

“And what makes you think we are spending our grandchildren’s inheritance?” Shallow Throat asked.

“Well, aren’t we?”

“Nah, President Bush the First did that, and W. spent our great-grandchildren’s money,” Shallow Throat explained. “We’re into great-great grandchildren now.”

“But doesn’t that worry you?” I asked. “I mean they could be spending half their taxes just to pay the interest in the money we borrowed to pay for today’s programs.”

“Make that about three-fourths instead of half, but so what?” Shallow Throat asked. “We’re talking about our great-great grandchildren here. That’s their problem. It’s not like we’re going to be around to worry about it.”

JOHN CANNON can be reached at jcannon@dailyindependent.com or at (606) 326-2649.