Published: May 14, 2009 09:53 pm      

KENNETH HART: Time for Hannity to man up 051709

To paraphrase one of my favorite sayings, it would appear that blowhard right-wing pundit Sean Hannity allowed his mouth to write a check his butt can’t cash.

Or, to put it another way, he let his alligator-sized mouth override his canary-sized cojones.

What I’m talking about is Hannity’s refusal to allow himself to be waterboarded.

Not that I blame him for not wanting to subject himself to that treatment. Whether or not you believe that waterboarding is torture (and I happen to think it is), it would seem to me we could all agree it would be anything but the equivalent of a picnic in the park.

Here’s the thing, though — Hannity offered to do it. For charity, no less.

Last month, Hannity was interviewing actor-turned-talk-show-host Charles Grodin on his FOX “News” program. The two were discussing the Bush Administration’s sanctioning of the use of “enhanced interrogation” techniques, including waterboarding, for terrorism suspects.

To no one’s surprise, Hannity said he supported such tactics. That prompted Grodin to ask Hannity whether he’d let himself be waterboarded.

Yes, I would, Hannity asserted, not once but an incredible five times. (Watch the video on YouTube if you don’t believe me).

At one point, he said he’d do it “for charity” or “for the troops.” He even offered to let Grodin do it.

When MSNBC left-wing gasbag Keith Olbermann, an avowed adversary of the man he calls “Hannity the Manatee,” got wind of this, he declared on his program that he’d donate $1,000 to a charity that assists military families for every second that Hannity could stand being waterboarded.

Olbermann went on to say he’d double his donation if Hannity would admit after being waterboarded that he feared for his life.

In addition to Olbermann’s pledge, Web sites have since sprung up soliciting donations for military charities conditioned upon Hannity being waterboarded. As of this writing, visitors to one such site, waterboardseanhannity.com, had pledged $1,035 for every second Hannity endures waterboarding.

(From what I’ve read, by the way, the average time a “waterboard-ee” is able to hold out is about 15 seconds. I would imagine it would be considerably less in the case of a pampered, privileged non-warrior like Hannity.)

The response to all this from the Hannity camp?

Cue the chirping crickets.

What’s the matter, Sean? You’re not afraid, are you?

I mean, if waterboarding is no big deal and doesn’t constitute torture, as you and other proponents of its use contend, what do you have to be afraid of?

What reason, other than being a chicken-hawk, would you pass up such a great opportunity to show the world you’re a stand-up guy, to generate a sizable chunk of change for families of the troops — troops you claim to support, by the by — and to silence one of your harshest critics?

Why, I’ll bet showing your waterboarding on pay-per-view TV would raise even more money to help the families of those who are in harm’s way.

I know I’d sign up.

I’m sure someone qualified could be found who’d be willing to do the waterboarding, too, seeing as how it’d be for a good cause and all.

I’m also quite sure many of you reading this will accuse of me of picking on Hannity because he’s a conservative.

Fact of the matter is, though, a coward is a coward, regardless of political persuasion, and anyone who fails to walk the walk after so cavalierly talking the talk, as Hannity did, meets that definition, far as I’m concerned.

Time for you to man up, Sean. Man up or shut up.

Personally, I’d prefer the latter.

KENNETH HART can be reached at khart@dailyindependent.com or (606) 326-2654.